Niagara ReporterThe word ‘politics’ is derived from the Greek word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘disgusting little blood-sucking parasites’.
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There’s no truth to the rumor that Assemblyman Ceretto has been having an affair during his lunch hour – there’s no way he’d give up lunch for sex.
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Assemblyman John Ceretto was knocking on doors as part of his re-election campaign when he stopped into a bar to greet people and have a beer with the customers. He struck up a conversation with a group of men at the bar and decided to buy them a round. One of the guys thanked him politely, but asked him why he did so.
“I’m running for re-election,” Ceretti told him, “and I want your vote.”
“You got it,” he replied, grabbing the beer, “Anyone’s better than the jerk who’s in there now.”
Alfred E. Ceretto
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The fact that State Senator Robert Ortt is running unopposed makes it clear that the Democrats are suffering from a bad case of electile dysfunction.
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Mayor Dyster was feeling guilty and despondent over the fact that he saw the new Niagara Falls train station through to completion under false pretenses, directing millions of taxpayer dollars to build the oversized “intermodal transportation” complex. He decided to unburden his conscience by going to confession.
“Bless my Father, for I have sinned,” he said, “I fooled everyone nine years ago by masquerading as an agent of change and reform. Four years after that, I convinced just enough suckers to “fast forward” me to a second term. Then last year, I propped up a third party candidate to pull votes from a worthy challenger.”
“But worst of all, Father, I knew that train ridership numbers in Niagara Falls wouldn’t justify, by Amtraks’s own published guidelines, anything approaching the size and scope of the new train facility, but couldn’t resist funneling millions of dollars to my campaign contributors to build the place.”
“All right, my son,” admonished the priest, “For penance, do the stations!”
